Why Can't My Party Have a Hip Spokesperson Like Elsie Wayne?

Or ... Conservatism has never looked so cool.

I really do not know what I was thinking all these years. It has always seemed to me like the Conservative Party ( Reform, Progressive Conservative, Conservative Reform Alliance Party, Alliance ... who can keep up) had a rather stuffy image. But look at Elsie, with that slight smile, that ever so Mona Lisaesque upturned mouth, the slightly raised eyebrow, that plastered in place shock of white hair. Elsie rocks and she knows it. And this week she let us all know it by delivering a refreshing blast of maritime air at the Conservative convention in Montreal. Here is a woman who is not afraid to speak her mind. She spoke up loud and clear, stating that women, conservative and otherwise, should not be able to exercise their personal freedom to procure an abortion, and instead she would be in favor of outlawing legal abortion in Canada. Rock on Elsie. In any other party in Canada she would run the risk of being run out as the senile dithering aunt who complains too loudly at family functions about gays getting married, and whatever happened to the days when men married women, and women stayed home and had babies and washed clothes and cooked and cleaned and went a little insane and perhaps needed to get some valium to help with the insanity, but there's nothing wrong with a little prescription medication now and then so long as it is patent protected for at least twenty years, so long as it helps you make it through the day. But this is the Conservative party. They embrace Elsie and her narrow minded, pinch faced view of the world as their own and loudly applaud her.

When it comes to people who wish to live together, whether they are women or men, why do they have to be out here in the public always wanting to call it marriage? Why are they in parades? Why are men dressed up as women on floats? They do not see us getting up on floats to say we are husband and wife. We do not do that. Why do they have to go around trying to get a whole lot of publicity? If they are going to live together, they can go live together and shut up about it. There is no need for this nonsense whatsoever and we should not have to tolerate it in Canada.

The above is Elsie taken from transcripts published by the House of Commons. Rock on Elsie and rock on Conservative Party of Canada, you dinosaurs.